I need to be honest with you guys about something. I’ve tried really hard to ignore this, but the evidence is pretty clear to me. I’m struggling right now.
About a month ago, Ninja and I got this little girl.
Since then, my workouts and eating habits have definitely gone a little wacky. Of course I don’t blame Jax at all. I love my Little Bit to pieces, and she is becoming a very good girl.
The problem is, it has become impossible anymore to workout at home with her. I’m either so paranoid she will potty on the carpet that I lose focus of my workout or she is constantly in my face and under my feet trying to get my attention, making it so I physically CAN’T work out.
And when I am not able to work out, my mood instantly changes. Working out keeps me grounded. It keeps me stable and sane. Not having that outlet means that lots of emotions and feelings are being stored up inside, and some days I feel like I am going to explode.
Then there is my eating habits. With the change in the weather, and the holidays coming, my body is definitely craving more heavier foods. And craving more food more often. That, coupled with the fact that I haven’t been working out like I want to, is starting to mess with my mind.
I am slowly starting to look at food in a negative light again.
I am analyzing everything I eat. I’m even analyzing everything I don’t eat. I’m telling myself I don’t need bread with dinner, because I had it at breakfast. Instead of my usual pre-workout breakfast of toast and a naner I have switched to a granola bar. I am finding it harder to eat my post workout snack, because I don’t feel my workout was hard enough to earn it.
Those things to me, are just not ok.
And I know it’s just because my schedule and life are all over the place right now. I am a very scheduled person. I have a huge planner for a reason. And when my life doesn’t follow the schedule I have for myself, well I kinda start to freak out a little.
I’m really trying to focus everyday on good food with the proper nutrition my body needs. If I am not getting the workouts in like I want to, then obviously I am going to need to shift my diet slightly in order to keep myself from going off the deep end.
I still refuse to give up sugar.
I still refuse to lower my calorie intake (not that I have any idea what that usually is)
I still refuse to switch to vegan/vegetarian/paleo or any other kind of diet
I’m almost a little angry at myself for letting things get to this point. I could feel a twinge of it a few weeks back, but because I love to ignore problems, I pushed it back. But I can’t push it back anymore.
If I am going to be the person that I want to be and the person I know I can be, then I have to put this right in front of me. I have to lower my head, and run full speed ahead at this wall. I have to put on my armor of faith, determination, and will.
And most importantly, I have to believe I can do it.
How do you find that balance again after you’ve slipped from your usually eating/workout habits?
How do you balance all the holiday food with the negative thoughts?