Trying to find a balance

I need to be honest with you guys about something. I’ve tried really hard to ignore this, but the evidence is pretty clear to me. I’m struggling right now.

About a month ago, Ninja and I got this little girl.


Since then, my workouts and eating habits have definitely gone a little wacky. Of course I don’t blame Jax at all. I love my Little Bit to pieces, and she is becoming a very good girl.

The problem is, it has become impossible anymore to workout at home with her. I’m either so paranoid she will potty on the carpet that I lose focus of my workout or she is constantly in my face and under my feet trying to get my attention, making it so I physically CAN’T work out.

And when I am not able to work out, my mood instantly changes. Working out keeps me grounded. It keeps me stable and sane. Not having that outlet means that lots of emotions and feelings are being stored up inside, and some days I feel like I am going to explode.

Then there is my eating habits. With the change in the weather, and the holidays coming, my body is definitely craving more heavier foods. And craving more food more often. That, coupled with the fact that I haven’t been working out like I want to, is starting to mess with my mind.

tumblr_m6z6p2DzsK1r4wuano1_500 Now I haven’t been lying to you guys on here. The food I post IS what I have been eating. I haven’t been restricting my food, but my feelings on it are starting to shift, and that’s my problem.

I am slowly starting to look at food in a negative light again.

I am analyzing everything I eat. I’m even analyzing everything I don’t eat. I’m telling myself I don’t need bread with dinner, because I had it at breakfast. Instead of my usual pre-workout breakfast of toast and a naner I have switched to a granola bar. I am finding it harder to eat my post workout snack, because I don’t feel my workout was hard enough to earn it.

Those things to me, are just not ok.

And I know it’s just because my schedule and life are all over the place right now. I am a very scheduled person. I have a huge planner for a reason. And when my life doesn’t follow the schedule I have for myself, well I kinda start to freak out a little.

I’m really trying to focus everyday on good food with the proper nutrition my body needs. If I am not getting the workouts in like I want to, then obviously I am going to need to shift my diet slightly in order to keep myself from going off the deep end.

I still refuse to give up sugar.
I still refuse to lower my calorie intake (not that I have any idea what that usually is)
I still refuse to switch to vegan/vegetarian/paleo or any other kind of diet

I just need to find that balance again. tumblr_lcq7o1vHI11qdw68ao1_500

I’m almost a little angry at myself for letting things get to this point. I could feel a twinge of it a few weeks back, but because I love to ignore problems, I pushed it back. But I can’t push it back anymore.

If I am going to be the person that I want to be and the person I know I can be, then I have to put this right in front of me. I have to lower my head, and run full speed ahead at this wall. I have to put on my armor of faith, determination, and will.

And most importantly, I have to believe I can do it.



How do you find that balance again after you’ve slipped from your usually eating/workout habits?
How do you balance all the holiday food with the negative thoughts?


  1. says

    Hang in there, beautiful!!!! You may have tripped, but you haven’t fallen! You’re still on your feet and that’s what is important!! Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to fit everything in perfectly. Take a day at a time setting your goal of “happiness and healthiness” as number one!! Don’t forget how loved you are and keep smiling! Saying prayers for you now! <3 spa love!

  2. says

    I feel you, don’t know what it is but lately i have felt myself using those questions and mind games against myself. Something I remind myself of is that I know what healthy is to me and it is something I fought for, I don’t want to lose that. i know you will figure things out, the adjustment phase is always the worst but you got this. i am sending a virtual hug your way.

  3. says

    Hugs girl! It happens to the best of us. WHen things spiral out of control here I make sure to take some time at the start of each day and just breathe. Let things settle.Once my head is clear, I can go forward. THis too shall pass!

  4. says

    I believe in you Kat! You can totally find your balance–and being aware of it slipping is the most important first step! I find that when I lose balance, it’s most important to FORGET about the past. Don’t think about the days you didn’t do/eat/whatever like you wanted to–because they have come and gone, so what good’s that going to do? Just think about what you’re going to do TODAY and TOMORROW, because you can act on those and make positive changes. Thinking about/focusing on “mistakes” just makes me frustrated/less likely to NOT make them again, but thinking about the positive and what I can and AM going to do makes all the difference!

  5. says

    Start taking the pup for walks!! Or is Jax too young for walks still? If you can go for walks, make them longer walks and that is still a GREAT form of exercise. When I fall off the wagon, I have to just JUMP back on. There’s no easy way for me to do it. It’s like ripping a band-aid just have to DO IT. You are a CRAZY strong person and we all go through these struggles multiple times a year, just shut your mind off and do what makes you happy!

  6. says

    Oh hun, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through a rough patch, but remember that that’s just what it is – a temporary patch. You’ve already taken the first and most important step in finding balance by identifying a problem and recognizing some unwanted behavior, and now you can go on to make small adjustments. Just don’t overreact. I know it might seem like everything is coming apart at the seams, but it’s really not. It’s a minor blip, so don’t let it cause you to panic and lose your head. Jax will grow up and you’ll be able to exercise again, and a month or two of slightly less intense workouts will NOT change anything, I promise. All I do is walk now, and I haven’t noticed any negative effects from ditching the intense workouts; if anything, I’ve noticed a lot of positive ones. Stay strong love, and talk to me if you need a shoulder!

  7. says

    Jax will soon be a great exercise companion for runs and such so that will hopefully help the situation! Hang in there. You are strong and I know you will get over this. I definitely know what you mean about exercise keeping you grounded as it does the same thing for me. A new puppy is big adjustment so try and be patient and know that it WILL work out! <3

  8. says

    Oh Kat I’m so sorry to hear this :( Keep that beautiful chin of yours up high in the sky my friend. These rough patches in life are only going to make you tougher in the long run– God gives His hardest battles to His strongest children. You can and will overcome this!!! <3

  9. says

    Ah sorry to hear you’re feeling like this, Kat! But you should be proud of yourself for recognising these thoughts creeping up and not letting them dominate. I used to ALWAYS scale back my eating as an immediate response to working out less but have stopped doing so. Granted that working out instantly motivates me to eat healthier (and vice versa) but I refuse to get back into that mentality of needing to burn off what I eat.

    When things aren’t as balanced as I’d prefer, I try to just focus on the future! As cliche as it sounds, there’s really no use crying over spilled milk!

  10. says

    I’m so sorry your dealing w/ trying to find a balance girl. However, I feel that by you recognizing your problem, your already heading in the right direction. Just keep your head up girl. It’s okay to splurge from time to time. Your a strong and beautiful individual. I don’t doubt for a moment that you won’t get back on track & start feeling back to your usual self <3

  11. says

    This is going to sound so cheesy but I was feeling really down yesterday and I needed some motivation and positivity so I literally just looked up blog posts from really really positive people and places (and have you ever read the Good Woman Project? They have AMAZING posts!) and I really did fell better!

  12. says

    Usually for me, by telling myself I can have whatever I want but not over indulge I’m able to stay on track. (for the most part) Also, I usually look around and decide what’s worth it to me before going crazy. The holidays are a long season and if I indulge in everything I will be unhealthy. But if I only enough what’s worth it to me, I will survive!

  13. says

    I agree with the person who said that road bumps are going to happen. I think the second we THINK we have control over something, we end up back-tracking a little. But the awesome thing is, you’re recognizing it and wanting to get rid of the negative thoughts NOW. So I would pray, be patient with yourself, and try to (one day at a time) get back to your previous habits. Hugs to you!

  14. says

    I’ve found with myself that striving for balance is a journey. There are twists and turns and lots of jumps and falls along the way. But it’s all about getting back up again when you fall, dusting yourself off, and continuing on. If you ever have those thoughts pop up in your mind, replace them with positive thoughts. I myself have had to separate food from numbers. Instead of viewing a food for its stats and #s, I strive to view it as nutrients, healthful fats, strengthening protein, etc. Because I’m like a walking calculator, my strength became my weakness in a way. But now I have been better able to find peace with food. Being able to listen to my body has become a blessing in my life.

    Keep pressing forward with steadfastness, Kat. I know you will be able to do it. I believe in you. :)

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