Home sweet home.
Dorothy really knew what she was talking about y’all, there really is no place like home!
Before I dive into my vacation recap though I want to give a quick shoutout to all of you who commented on my last post and let me in to your own personal struggles and such. That means so much to me that you would share that part of yourself with me, so thank you. Once again, y’all are the best “friends” a blogger could ask for 🙂
Ok but seriously, we need to talk about flying.
I still don’t understand how people fly back and forth so frequently. Guys, if I don’t have to fly for another 5 years I’ll be one happy lady. There is literally nothing appealing about it! Not only does the entire thing give me major anxiety, but I also lost two entire days of my life to being up in the sky. Not my idea of fun y’all. And poor Ninja almost lost some fingers with how hard I was squeezing his hand.
Needless to say, I’m really happy to be home.
That being said, something happened this vacation that has never happened to me before. Even though I consider myself to be “recovered”, I still suffer some anxiety when it comes to traveling and being away from my normal foods and workouts. This anxiety typically puts a damper on my vacation by taking away the entire purpose of the vacation in the first place – instead of relaxing, taking in the moment and making memories with my family I am focused on when I’m eating, what I’m eating or how I’m getting in exercise.
And I’m not sure why but none of that seemed to happen on this trip.
Sure, I wish I could have eaten more vegetables. Sure, I did try to make my meal selections as wholesome as possible. Sure, there were days that I had the itch to drop down and do a few push-ups or lace up my Nike’s and sprint up the street.
But does that mean that I turned down the gluten-free & vegan cinnamon roll?
Does that mean that I passed on the cheese because I already had hummus on my sandwich and I didn’t want to double up the fats?
GF bread – spinach – hummus – tomato – turkey – cheese -red onion
Though I’m not really sure why, this trip I was really able to focus on moment at hand. Normally I can’t get out of my own way – I’m so lost in my head that my next healthy meal and next sweaty workout is all that I can think about. I’m such a planner and scheduler that all I can think of is food and fitness and I miss out on everything that’s right in front of my face.
I’m so glad to be able to say that wasn’t the case this trip.
Pro Bar Cookie Dough flavor – Health Warrior Chia Bar
Thankfully Ninja’s family is very aware of my ED as well as my gluten-intolerance and were really great about working around both – they even bought some Annie’s Bunnies and Pop Chips for the house so that I had some yummy snacks!
They also made sure that the restaurants we went to had gluten-free options, which was such a weird feeling for me. Typically I feel like such a burden, like my family or friends have to sacrifice so that I can eat gluten-free. This trip however, everything just felt so right – it really helped to lift that anxiety and allow me to just enjoy the time with family!
And though I did get 2 workouts in, neither of them came at the cost of time spent with family. Thankfully I’m an early riser [and no one else is!] so I was able to get a few sweat sessions in before anyone else was even awake. But even if I hadn’t gotten in those workouts, I didn’t feel that normal guilt or anxiety rising up within me that typically comes around when I miss a few workouts. Instead I was able to enjoy our daily activities, which involved tons of walking, and give my body a bit of a break from it’s normal routine.
I loved these paving stones!
I know that I still have a long ways to go when it comes to stepping outside of my comfort zone. I also know that I need to continue to work past my anxiety and my fears that come along with changes and a break of routine. And while I was by no means perfect on this trip, I was able to let go of a lot of that control that I try to cling to so tightly and just pause to take in the moment.
I won’t lie – I’m really glad to be home and back to my routine. Does that mean that this vacation was a fail or a let down? Of course not! I was able to let go this trip, something that I truly haven’t been able to do for a really long time. Being able to focus on anything and everything other than food was such a pleasant surprise for me – so much so that I didn’t even realize the changes in myself until the last day of vacation. It just felt…normal.
All this to say, I guess that letting go of a bit of control isn’t so bad after all 😉
When’s the last time that you stopped and smelled the roses?