Instead of focusing on the workouts this week, we are going to focus on the motivation behind those workouts.
During my ED, I was always looking to be someone else. My motivation came from a desire to be something completely different than myself. I wanted to look like and have the life of some stranger that I didn’t even know, all because of their outward appearance. I starved, withheld, sweat, and purged to get these strangers’ bodies, but to no avail. And yet everyday, that impossible vision was my goal: to look like whoever was my current ideal body.
It’s crazy to me now to look at another woman’s body and try to mold mine after it. Sure, I still find myself admiring other women’s bodies and wishing that I could have their long limbs or lean muscles, but I don’t strive to be them anymore. While I may long for what they have to some extent, I realize that their body isn’t mine, and won’t ever be. Regardless of how hard I work, how clean I eat, or how much I pray, the only body I am ever going to have is mine.
Which is why I have become my own motivation.
This is the reason why lately, my fitness life has been so fun. Sure, I still admire and look up to other women’s bodies and the hard work they put in, but I no longer set their accomplishments as my goal. Instead, I’ve been using my own body, my own preferences, and my own abilities as motivation and you know what I’ve discovered? That there is no better motivation than your own progress and success.
God made me to be 5’4, with thick legs and arms. He made me to be stout and compact, but He also made me to be strong and not easily breakable. He gave me a desire and a fire that pushes me daily to make something more of myself.
He most definitely did not make me to be a carbon copy of anyone else.
There’s a reason why there are apple shapes, pear shapes and hour glass shaped women. There’s a reason why some of us are short while others have legs for days. There are reasons why I love to lift weights and find strength in that, while Little Sissy loves to dance and finds herself lost in the movements.
All that to say, I find my motivation within myself daily. My goals don’t depend on someone else’s, nor do they need to match anyone else’s. The cool thing about my fitness journey, is that it has never been about prepping for a competition or looking better in a swimsuit. My journey has always been about loving myself fully and finding the strength within myself to stand and fight back against my demons, and to accomplish those two things I can’t look to anyone else for motivation.
If you really want to find success, then stop basing everything you do on someone else’s life. Be your own motivation.
No questions, just thoughts!!